So, still undecided on who to vote for? Well, check out these sites. They will help you discover which candidate most aligns with your views. Some seem to be a bit more thorough than others, but check them all out. You may be surprised!

www.votechooser.com/

www.selectsmart.com/president/2008.html

www.usatoday.com/news/politics/election2008/candidate-match-game.htm

www.wqad.com/Global/link.asp?L=259460

www.speakout.com/VoteMatch/

Ok, Now go VOTE!

Its time for another post. So, shall I talk about Obama’s win in Iowa and then surprising defeat in New Hampshire? Shall I talk about how Tom Cruise is believed to be the second most powerful person in the Church of Scientology and the rumor that he had his wife Katie Holmes impregnated with the late L. Ron Hubbard’s (founder of scientology) sperm? Shall I talk about how insanely expensive wedding photographers are and how we may have found the needle in the haystack? Lets just see where my mind wanders…

Ninja Warrior. If you have never seen it, you have to check it out. It comes on G4 (a gaming network… I *heart* FiOS) and is so ridiculous its great. Its a Japanese (i think) pseudo-game show.. similar to American Gladiators. Its running, jumping, climbing, and best of all, people falling in a huge mud puddle. It is dubbed into English, and while I am not completely convinced it is the actual dialogue, it is still pretty entertaining. It makes me want to go to Japan just to compete. I could be a ninja warrior, right?

American Gladiators… its back, and almost as good as I remember. It hasn’t tarnished my memory of it, so thats good. And now that I am old enough to compete… it made me seriously think about it for a minute. But I know deep down I would be trying to substitute it for Ninja Warrior… and thats just not fair to either show. Now I said “almost” as good as I remember…  thats because Hulk Hogan’s blond weave somewhat detracts from the appeal of the show. Its kinda difficult to take him seriously now when he has fluorescent strands of nylon hanging from his bandanna. Sorry Hulk, but my memory of you has been tarnished. I am a Hulkamaniac no more.

Hmm… so if the New Hampshire really is a foreshadowing of the Presidential race, and Clinton gets the Democratic nomination, could Obama run as her running mate? It would make history. First female president… first black person in the White House. Is America ready for that yet? While I would like to think the masses are open minded enough to look past race and gender and select the best candidates for the job, I am somewhat skeptical. Time will tell. Well, I guess its time for me to really start looking at ALL of the candidates so I can make an informed decision when the time comes.

One last thing. Salad Spritzers? Really? So they want us to spray on salad dressing now? “Only one calorie per spray.” Do you know how many sprays it will take to properly coat a salad? Well, at least you will know exactly how many calories it is… “23, 24, 25, …” How about practicing some self control and using less salad dressing. Or how about trying that thing… um… exercise. Then you can spray until your hearts content… or your salad is drowning in its own dressing, whichever comes first. Geez… what’s next? diet butter?

Yes, I have been absent from blogging for like two months and this is the best I can come up with. Funny thing is, I was in the gym, and her cleavage was all over CNN… well, not literally of course. It’s sad that this is what makes news these days. Not that I am saying that she will win (I have not decided on who I plan to back yet), but if she does, I am sure it will not be on the merits of her chest.

I guess its all about entertaining people instead of informing people on the news stations these days. If you think about, its true… one of Larry King’s most popular interviews in recent history was with Paris Hilton. We get blow by blows of Lindsay Lohan’s life, and everyone’s opinion of Michael Vick. What about what really matters?I have no clue what Hillary was talking about when she was reportedly revealing all because everyone is just reporting on how low cut her blouse was. In all honesty, it wasn’t that low. Sure, she wasn’t wearing a shirt buttoned to the top and a neck tie like the men, but that’s because she is not a man! Its not like she looked like she was about to hit the club. Trust me, images of her are not about to replace the millions of gigs of porn out there on the world wide web… nor will it replace that smut magazine under your 13 year old neighbor’s mattress.

I guess until they decide to report on something news worthy, I will just continue to watch high speed chases involving old men trying to save their cats and Filipino inmates perform choreographed dance routines set to Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Someone save us.

“You can’t be serious.” That is my initial reaction to the news that Libby’s sentence has been commuted. Ok, so it’s not a pardon, but still, he doesn’t have to serve jail time. I have heard the decision try to be justified by saying that since his sentence was commuted, not pardoned, that the conviction still stands. That it remains on his record, it is not erased as if it never happened. That’s all well and good, but he still got out of jail time. I am sure having the conviction on his record will not prevent him from leading a full life. Its not like he is going to be applying for a job at Wal-mart, and be denied employment because he has a record. “I’m sorry Mr. Libby, but we do not hire convictedfelons here.” That’s one phrase I doubt he will be hearing. He will probably end up getting a book deal, and then get his own television show.. He can call his book “The How-To guide to Committing Perjury and Get Away With It.” Then perhaps Fox News will give him a job, “The Libby Report.” Hell, even Martha and Paris had to serve time, who does he think he is, R. Kelly? (If you don’t get it later, laugh now and figure it out later)

What happened to the days when high profile convicted felons wet to Club Fed? I mean sure, its hardly hard time, but at least it had the appearance of incarceration. Not even an ankle bracelet… nothing. Well, I guess the precedent has been set, purger for the vice-leader of the free world, and get a book deal and tv show.

As I write this, I still don’t have a title for this post. I considered “Muslim in Congress,” but I didn’t know how that would be taken. Then I considered “One Nation under Allah,” but I figured that could be even worse, and I don’t want to unintentionally offend. When I offend, I want to mean it.

So today, the first Muslim Keith Ellison, was sworn into Congress. I have absolutely no problem with that. I completely believe in freedom of religion, however, I disagree with Ellison being sworn in using the Koran instead of the Bible. While my girlfriend disagrees with me, I understand her view point, and we respect each others opinions. She feels we (the US) should not force Christianity on people of other religions. I can respect that, however, I feel in this case, this goes beyond religion.

I believe the Bible being used in the swearing in of people is more tradition or ritual than ritual. Probably years back, it had a strong basis in religion, but in the days of numerous faiths and religions and even atheism, its more a process that makes people legally accountable for their words and actions than them making a promise before God. If a person commits perjury, he will go to jail. He can not claim that he is a Scientologist, and since he didn’t swear on a copy of Dianetics, he can not be held responsible. Whether one believes in the Bible or not, the process of being sworn in makes him accountable.
If there is a problem with people of other faiths being sworn in using the Bible, then remove it. Separate church and state. Make them “promising ins” and keep the same legal implications. Switching out the books people use to be sworn in creates an inconsistency, and I feel that will only lead to problems. Can those who have no religious beliefs now claim that since the do not believe in religion, they can not be sworn in using any book. What kind of implications will that have. I completely believe in freedom of religion, but feel in this case there needs to be a standard.

Whether its the Bible of no book at all, we need to make a choice. Otherwise, next time I take an oath, I may claim I am an Egreenist and place my right hand on a stack of my blog posts.

So, they killed Eko on Lost. I must say, I am more than a bit disappointed… next thing, they will go and kill off Locke. This was teh best episode this season, then they go and go that. Ah well… next episode is the fall season finale, so we will see what else they com up with.

I recently bought the new John Legend cd and i must say, its pretty good. There are no up beat songs, they are all rather slow, but its good none the less. Chill enough to work or drive to.

dontvote.com. Check it out before Nov. 7.

Blu-ray v. HD-DVD, which will win out? iPod v. Zune, can Microsoft compete?

Finally, read this… its one of the funniest things i have ever read. Enjoy:

Fun with a Taser

Dear Friends,

My wife Toni is fond of saying that my last words on this earth will be something akin to, “hey y’all, hold my beer and watch this!” Well, I have outdone myself once again. No doubt you will see this true story chronicled in a Lifetime movie in the near future. Here goes.

Last weekend I spied something at Larry’s Pistol and Pawn that tickled my fancy. (Note: Keep in mind that my “fancy” is easily tickled). I bought something really cool for Toni. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my sweet girl. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser
gun with a clip. For those of you who are not familiar with this product, it is a less-than-lethal stun gun with two metal prongs designed to incapacitate an assailant with a shock of high-voltage, low amperage electricity while you flee to safety. The effects are supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant,
but allowing you adequate time to retreat to safety. You simply jab the prongs into your 250 lb. Tattooed assailant, push the button, and it will render him a slobbering, goggle-eyed, muscle-twitching, whimpering, pencil-neck geek. If you’ve never seen one of these things in action, then you’re truly missing out–way too cool!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was so disappointed. Upon reading the directions (we don’t need no stinkin’ directions), I found much to my chagrin that this particular model would not create an arch between the prongs. How disappointing! I do love fire for effect. I learned that if I pushed the button, however,
and pressed it against a metal surface that I’d get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs that I was so looking forward to. I did so. Awesome!!! Sparks, a blue arch of electricity, and a loud pop!!! Yipeeeeee . . I’m easily amused, just for your information, but I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries, etc., etc. There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul), reading the directions (that would be me, not Gracie) and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie for a fraction of a second and thought better of it. She is such a sweet kitty, after all. But, if I was going to give this thing to Toni to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? Was I wrong to think that? Seemed reasonable to me at the time…

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. All the while I’m looking at this little device (measuring about 5″ long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference, pretty cute really, and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries) thinking to myself, “no friggin’ way!” Friggin’ way–trust me, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I’ll do my best. Those of you who know me well have got a pretty good idea of what followed. I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, “don’t do it buddy,” reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny lil’ ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad (sound, rational thinking under the circumstances, wouldn’t you agree?). I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the hell of it. (Note: You know, a bad decision is like hindsight–always twenty-twenty. It is so obvious that it was a bad decision after the
fact, even though it seemed so right at the time. Don’t ya hate that?)

I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY **************! DAaaaauuuuuuMN!!! I’m pretty sure that Jessie Ventura ran in through the front door, picked me up out of that recliner, then body slammed me on the carpet over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, soaking wet, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position. Gracie was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, “do it again, do it again!” (Note: If you ever feel compelled to mug yourself with a Taser, one note of caution. There is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You’re not going to let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. Then, if you’re lucky, you won’t lodge one of the prongs 1/4″ deep in your thigh like yours truly.) SON-OF-A-***** that hurt! A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at this point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both titties were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, as my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. give or take an ounce or two, I’m pretty sure.

By the way, has anyone seen my testicles? I think they ran away. I’m offering a reward. They’re round, rather large, kinda hairy, and handsome if I must say so myself. Miss ‘em . . . sure would like to get ‘em back.