Watch out Southwest, there is a new ultra cheap airline in town. Skybus is set to start passenger flights 22 May 2007. They boast fares as low as $10 one way. Seriously, 10 bucks. However, this does not come without its sacrifices. Nothing is free. I mean nothing. They charge to check you bags, they charge to board first to get the best seats, and they charge for food… and don’t allow you to bring your own on with you! And is something goes wrong, don’t bother trying to call… they don’t have any phones… they are too expensive.

Unbelievable, I know… well, here is what they have listed on their site. They can say it better than I can.

The Skybus Rules of Flying

(A.K.A. How we keep our tickets so darn cheap.)

1. Don’t pay for everyone else’s baggage.

On Skybus, you pay only for what you check. The first two bags are 5 bucks apiece. After that, it’s $50 a bag (yeah, so pack smartly). Less baggage means faster turnaround and cheaper tickets. Fair deal?

2. Hungry? Thirsty? Bring cash.

Most people love our full cocktail bar and food menu, but if you’re not into that, it won’t cost you a penny. Why should your ticket cost include your neighbor’s dinner? That also goes for blankets and pillows–which, by the way, you get to keep if you buy. Oh, and don’t sneak food onboard unless you brought enough for the whole plane.

3. Bring a book.

We’re not big fans of fancy in-flight entertainment systems. So grab that best seller at the airport, or buy a Sudoku puzzle onboard if you’re feeling brainy. You’ll touch down before you know it.

4. Don’t call us.

We don’t have a phone number. Seriously. We’d love to chat, but those phone banks are expensive. And a good website like skybus.com is even more convenient.

5. Don’t be late. We won’t wait.

Please arrive no later than 30 minutes before takeoff, or we’ll leave without you. Really. By that time, there won’t even be anyone to check your bag. It’s nothing against you–we just have to keep our flights on time, or things get expensive in a hurry.

6. Don’t expect an army of gate agents.

You probably won’t see any agents at the gate until boarding time. Remain calm! Just print your boarding pass at skybus.com and relish in the savings.

7. Yeah, we’ve got preferred seats. Sort of.

There are no fancy reclining beds onboard, but you can pay 10 bucks extra to board our brand-new A319 airplanes before anyone else.

8. Tickets are nonrefundable.

Refunding a ticket costs everyone, so we don’t allow it. Of course, our tickets are so cheap it wouldn’t have been much of a refund anyway. If you need to change a ticket, your punishment for breaking a date with us is $40.

9. Bigger is not better.

Big airports can be a big pain. We choose less crowded and more convenient secondary airports for better punctuality and, of course, lower prices.

10. No spontaneous dancing in the aisle.

We realize you might be excited about paying a ridiculously low fare, but please refrain from any unbridled dancing onboard. This includes jumping for joy, disruptive cheering, and celebratory break dancing.

Rule 11 is probably “in the case of emergency, have exact cash ready, the flight attendants will be selling flotation devices, and they will not have change.” If you decide to fly with them, good luck… you’ll need it… well luck and cash.

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First, I must say that, along with the rest of the country, I am deeply saddened by the tragedy that struck Virginia Tech on Monday. The events that happened seem unimaginable, like something out of a movie, yet they were real. My sympathy goes out the the families of the victims… and the family of the shooter. No matter the circumstances, its difficult to lose a loved one.

I will choose not to talk about how hindsight is 20/20, and the absurd idea the media is pushing that people should have been able to see this coming, and give the kid help before it got this far. True, there may have been signs of mental illness, but all mental ill people do not go on killing rampages. Furthermore, this line of thinking forces people to try to rationalize crazy. This kid had serious, deep rooted issues. He was a psycho… maybe not in the literal medical sense of the word, but definitely in the more common use. With this being the case, I am a believer that you can not rationalize, and therefore predict, crazy peoples future actions.

No, on to the point of this little post. Apparently this guy sent pictures, video, and other stuff to NBC, and it arrived yesterday. Naturally, the media is all over it. Now this is a guy who presumably was an outcast, and did not have a lot of social interaction. His actions may have been a result of his inability to be noticed and accepted. Well, now with this stuff he sent the media coming to the surface, his name and face are all over the place. While I would normally be all over YouTube looking for the video, etc, I decided that that is probably just what this guy wanted. In light of his heinous actions, I refuse to give him the satisfaction of letting his memory overshadow those of the innocent lives he took. I refuse to look at his videos and give him the attention he so desperately wanted. I’d rather remember remember the other 32 individuals who didn’t have the opportunity to say goodbye.

This is just my little rant… I may have some facts incorrect, if so, feel free to correct me. As for the rest, its just my opinion. And as a brilliant friend of mine says, your opinion may differ, but that just makes it wrong.

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AARGH!!! 24 and Jack Bauer… why do I continue to watch? He gives people his word like prostitutes give STDs. Ok, that was a bit crass, but you get my point.

“Mr. President, I know I am asking you to authorize me to go to the moon with the Dirka Dirkatsanis and help them fire a laser at the White House, but I give you my word, I will not let them succeed. Its the only was to save some chick I randomly met 3 hours ago who I also gave my word to that I would keep her safe.” Are you serious? The scenarios in this show are completely absurd. I don’t know how this show stays on the air. I guess its cause of speds like me how continue to tune in and TiVo it and fuss the entire time. Gotta go, commercial break is over… I may miss Jack save the world… again.

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I will not be posting a lot of stories from the vacation, but there is one I have to share. Its one of those that is funny to look back on, but was definitely not when it was occurring.

It was our second port, Cozumel, and I planned to have a fantastic time. We all got off of the boat, and decided to meet at Senor Frogs. After a few people took a detour via some of the port shops and the duty free store, we all arrived at the bar. So not its time to plan the day. Problem is you have eight people, and all of us do not want to do the same thing… so no plan was ever set in stone. We all went back to the stores, one of us decided to buy a watch from one of the jewelery stores.

Well, I guess the three of us took too long in the jewelery store, because when we were done, there was no one to be found.

Side note…. I am glad I was not banking on buying a diamond from an island during the cruise. We look at some stones to satisfy a curiosity, and they were garbage. Ok, maybe that was a bit harsh, but they were not nearly as nice as the one I ended up purchasing. They quality of the stones was not that good, and their selection was slim. Not only that, but one stone had a chipped and dirty culet (the point at the bottom). But wait, there’s more. One of us asked if they were conflict stones, and to our surprise the sales woman replied, “of course, DeBeers is our supplier.” I had to respect her honestly, but was completely floored that someone may have lost their life for those diamonds… and they weren’t even good stones!

Back to the story… so the three of us decided to find a beach and go jet skiing… we had no clue where the other five were. Several hours later, I was on the ramp to get back on the boat, and here comes one of my fraternity brothers running up telling me that another one of us got into an accident on a scooter, and they were not letting him leave until he paid the damages. Imagine that… being held by the federales… in danger of being left in Mexico.

So we cut the rest of the line to get back on the boat and hit an ATM to get money to pay off his debt. We also found other in our group to get money… it was a crazy couple of minutes trtying to gather all the money. All I could thing was he must be scared shitless facing the possibility of being left behind. It was just him and the scooter guy (who was holding his cruise card hostage) waiting for us to return w/ some money.

Well, we gather the money, run back out to port, and pay his debt… I am sure he was never so happy to see our shining faces. Hopefully thats the last time he ever gets on a scooter. I am pretty sure being held hostage in Mexico by the Federales trumps being thrown from a jet ski. I guess I will have to try harder next time.

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I am back from my cruise, and it was pretty fun. There are a few things I would have changed, like not having it when all of the 10 year olds were on spring break. No, I am exaggerating the age of some immature college students, there were really 10 year olds on the boat. It was family central… so almost everyone was either 15 and under, or 40 and over. Not many in the 25-35 year old crowd. Once we got past that fact, we were able to have a pretty good time.

When we were in Cozumel, I was able to go jet skiing for the first time. It was SO much FUN! While I felt paying $60 US was a bit much for 30 min of jet skiing in Mexico, it was worth every penny. Even when I was flying through the air after being thrown from the machine like a bucking bull, I was having fun.

I was taking a turn too sharply, and hit a bad wave. I knew that when taking sharp turns, the machine kind of skips on the water. What I didn’t know was that  if you hit a high wave, the ski will do its best to send you flying. It succeeded. Fortunately, I didn’t panic when i was in the air, nor did I panic as I hit the water and realized I was in the ocean and could not touch the bottom.

I was, however, glad that my friend did not try to come over to help. He had just told me that the last time he went jet skiing, someone fell off, and he went over to help. It was then he realized that jet skis do not have brakes and hit the guy in the head… true story.

After not being hit in the head, I surfaced and found my jet ski. Let me tell you, getting on a jet ski floating the the ocean is no easy task. I thought I could just boost myself up like one would as they get out of a pool where there is no ladder. After two unsuccessful attempts, I took the advice of my head hunting friend who was yelling for me to try to put my leg up. It was comforting to hear his voice from a distance because that meant he was far enough away that my head was safe.

So I got my leg up, and now I am dangling from the ski by a leg and an arm. I somehow managed to get my arm over the seat of the ski and pull myself on the ski.  I reattached the kill switch, and made good use of the remainder of my 30 min. It may have been the most fun all cruise.

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